Embracing the Dark Side


Embracing the Dark Side:

Discerning the positive aspects of sadness, bereavement,
and other negative feelings.          by Jenna Baddeley

Renowned relationships and marriage researcher John Gottman has found that one of the characteristics of successful husbands – husbands whose marriages are long and happy – is that they accept their wives’ influence. This means honoring their wives’ opinions, ideas, plans, dreams. It means allowing their opinions and plans to be changed by their wives’ opinions and plans in large and small areas, from what to make for dinner to what kind of house to buy.

It is strange at first glance that wives’ ability to accept influence doesn’t predict marital stability. It turns out that this is simply because there is very little variation in wives’ willingness to accept influence. Indeed, wives are sometimes all too willing to sacrifice their own dreams in order to better fulfill their husbands’ dreams   . . . .

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