Sometimes the problem isn't simply that you're working too much

Work can affect us in surprisingly personal ways.

Sometimes the problem is workload and exhaustion. But sometimes what brings someone to therapy is a difficult manager, conflict with a coworker, feeling undermined or unappreciated, impossible expectations, organizational politics, or simply dreading Monday morning.

You may find yourself replaying conversations long after work is over.

You may be questioning decisions you once made confidently, becoming unusually reactive, having trouble sleeping, or wondering whether you're the problem.

And sometimes it really is burnout. You've been functioning under pressure for so long that there doesn't seem to be much left in the tank.

These are situations I particularly enjoy helping people work through.

When Work Follows You Home

Workplace stress doesn't necessarily stay at work.

It can affect your sleep, relationships, confidence, concentration, physical well-being and the way you feel about yourself.

You might recognize some of these experiences:

• Feeling anxious on Sunday night or before starting work

• Constantly thinking about a manager or coworker

• Feeling criticized, micromanaged, undermined or unappreciated

• Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no

• Taking on too much responsibility

• Conflict with colleagues, managers or employees

• Feeling trapped between competing expectations

• Losing confidence in abilities you once trusted

• Irritability, exhaustion or difficulty switching off after work

• ADHD making organization, workload or workplace relationships harder

• Feeling burned out but unsure whether to stay, leave or change something

Therapy can provide a confidential place to slow the situation down and figure out what's actually happening.

Is It the Workplace, or Is It Me?

I don't assume every workplace problem is psychological.

Sometimes you're responding quite reasonably to a genuinely difficult environment.

Other times, something happening at work activates older patterns involving authority, conflict, rejection, perfectionism, people-pleasing or self-doubt.

Often it's some combination of the two.

That's why I like to look at workplace difficulties from both the outside and the inside.

We can examine what's actually happening with your manager, colleagues, workload or organization, while also becoming curious about what the situation brings up in you.

The question isn't simply:

“How do I cope with this?”

It may also be:

“What is actually going on here, and what do I want to do about it?”

Practical Strategies as Well as Therapy

My style is active and collaborative.

I'm comfortable spending part of a session exploring a deeper emotional pattern and another part figuring out what you're going to say in a difficult meeting tomorrow.

Depending on what you're dealing with, our work might involve:

• Preparing for a difficult conversation

• Understanding emotional triggers and recurring patterns

• Establishing healthier boundaries

• Managing conflict more effectively

• Sorting out complicated workplace relationships

• Organizing overwhelming demands and priorities

• Improving communication

• Rebuilding confidence and self-esteem

• Deciding what you can change and what you cannot

• Thinking through whether it's time to stay, leave or make a larger career change

My approach draws from Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, mindfulness, mind-body approaches and other evidence-informed psychotherapy, alongside practical problem-solving and organizational strategies.

ADHD, Neurodivergence & the Workplace

For people with ADHD or other neurodivergent traits, work can present another layer of challenges.

Executive functioning, competing priorities, interruptions, time management, communication differences and overwhelm can become particularly difficult in demanding environments.

Sometimes a person has spent years trying to force themselves to work in ways that simply don't fit how their brain functions.

We can look at practical strategies for organization and executive functioning while also addressing the emotional impact of years of frustration, criticism or feeling that you should somehow be doing better.

The goal isn't simply to become more productive.

It's to find ways of working that are more sustainable and better suited to you.

Burnout Can Look Different Than People Expect

Burnout isn't always dramatic.

Sometimes it's the person who continues getting everything done but has gradually stopped caring.

Sometimes it's irritability, procrastination or exhaustion.

Sometimes it's feeling emotionally numb.

And sometimes it's lying awake thinking about work while wondering how something that used to feel manageable became so difficult.

Simply telling yourself to develop better “work-life balance” may not address what's actually maintaining the problem.

We can look at workload, expectations, boundaries, relationships, values and the patterns that keep pulling you back into the same cycle.

Difficult Managers & Difficult Workplace Relationships

One of my particular interests is helping people make sense of complicated interpersonal situations at work.

Perhaps you're dealing with a manager whose expectations continually change.

Maybe someone is highly critical, controlling or unpredictable.

Perhaps you're caught in workplace politics, dealing with a difficult employee, or repeatedly leaving conversations wondering, “What just happened?”

These situations can gradually erode confidence and make people question their own judgment.

Therapy offers somewhere confidential to bring the complicated situation in and actually figure out how to handle it.

We can separate what you can control from what you can't, identify patterns in the relationship, consider different ways of responding, and help you make decisions from a clearer and steadier place.

Do I Need to Leave My Job?

Not necessarily.

Sometimes relatively small changes in boundaries, communication or perspective make work considerably more manageable.

Sometimes the environment itself needs to change.

And occasionally therapy helps someone recognize that they've spent enormous energy trying to adapt to a situation that simply isn't healthy or sustainable for them.

My job isn't to tell you whether to stay or leave.

It's to help you understand the situation clearly enough that you can make that decision with greater confidence.

Workplace Stress & Burnout Therapy in Ottawa and Across Ontario

I'm Rory Batchilder, M.Ed., RP, CCC, a Registered Psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience working with adults and couples.

I provide virtual psychotherapy to adults in Ottawa and throughout Ontario, including professionals, managers, employees, federal public servants, veterans and people navigating ADHD, relationship difficulties, trauma, chronic stress and major life transitions.

Sessions are collaborative, practical and tailored to the person rather than built around a single formula.

If work is taking up far more of your emotional life than you want it to, therapy can be a place to understand what's happening and begin deciding what needs to change.

Ready to Talk?

A brief consultation can help us determine whether my approach is a good fit for what you're dealing with.

Virtual psychotherapy in Ottawa and across Ontario

Individual psychotherapy: $235 / 50 minutes