Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Video on TED.com
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Speakers Esther Perel: Sex therapist
In her practice and writing, Esther Perel helps loving couples navigate between the comfort of happy relationships and the thrilling uncertainty of sexual attraction.
Why you should listen to her:
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is changing the conversation on what it means to be in loveand have a fulfilling sex life. For the first time in human history, couples aren’t having sex just to have kids; there’s room for sustained desire, for couples to cultivate long-term sexual relationships. But how? Perel, a licensed marriage and family therapist, travels the world to help people answer this question.
For her research Perel works across cultures and is herself fluent in nine languages. She coaches and consults organizations and families, holds a private psychotherapy practice in New York, and speaks regularly on erotic intelligence, trauma, conflict resolution and infidelity. She is the author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.
“Perel’s ideas are … instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It’s all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness.”
The Observer (UK)
Quotes by Esther Perel
“The very ingredients that nurture love — mutuality, reciprocity, protection, worry, responsibility for the other — are sometimes the very ingredients that stifle desire.”
“What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? … Therein lies the mystery of eroticism.”
“‘When I look at my partner radiant and confident,’ — [that’s] probably the biggest turn-on across the board.”