My book guides you step by step through emails that you and your partner can exchange, every day or once a week or just once ever, that are designed to help you learn about each other on a deeper level.  As you all know, over time, couples start to struggle with a feeling that I call monotogamy, and that leads to feelings of disconnectionloneliness, boredom, resentment, and even anger and sadness.  Couples start to use small talk or logistical household management talk as their primary modes of communication.  (And that’s not counting sarcasm and sniping.) Especially for the classic couple The Wife Who Wants More And Her Annoyingly Satisfied Husband, or its gender inverse, this can be horribly frustrating.

52 Emails aims to bring some of the best parts of couples counseling into a less intimidating form.  You get to connect with your partner, talking about topics you may not have discussed since your early relationship, if ever.  And you don’t have to spend your time or money on a couples counselor, or convince a recalcitrant partner to attend therapy.

Writing can be much less awkward than face-t0-face conversations, and it has much less potential to escalate.  People can take the time they need to express themselves in a well thought out way, without fear of mockery or interruption.  Whenever I give my couples clients writing assignments, they invariably end up going deeper and learning more about their partners than they expected to.

This book covers a range of topics, including sex, parenting, memories of each other, money, expectations for the future, infidelity, trust, and communication. I even go into the pursuer-distancer dynamic in one of the chapters.  You can do all the emails (one a week would take you a year) or just the ones that relate to your individual situation as a couple. I designed the book to be flexible and easy to read, for anyone who is motivated to introspect and grow closer with their partner.  And it is an interesting read, I think, especially because I have example emails for each topic, between members of a fictional couple (the emails are derived from a conglomeration of different types of clients I have seen over the years).

I am so excited to share this book with you guys, my supportive Dr. Psych Mom community.  I would love to hear your experiences with it when you try it with your partners.  Let me know if you order it!  And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, And Just When Your Husband Thought He Could Watch The Game In Peace, You Bring Out The Email Idea.

This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Learn about Dr. Rodman’s private practice, including therapy, coaching, and consultation, here. This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider.