psychologyReader Q&A

My Dad Died But I Didn’t Know Him Well And Can’t Mourn For Him Openly

Reader Grieving Daughter writes, My dad passed away two weekends ago. My parents separated when I was 4 years old. He visited sporadically. I didn’t know him very well. I have fond memories of him because my siblings and mom kept the memories alive. So I do love and respect …

I Want To Be Done With My Husband’s Family’s Awful Christmas Gift Exchange

Reader Grinch writes, Most of my husband’s family lives near where he grew up. We live about five or six hours away. Both of us have eye problems so we don’t drive at night (we are in our sixties.) The year I married into the family nearly 40 years ago, …

My Friendships Don’t Get Deep Enough

Reader Shallow Bonds writes, I am struggling with the fact that I am lonely a lot of the time.  My marriage is ok but in terms of friendships, they just really never get that deep.  I have lots of acquaintances and lots of moms night out type friends, but somehow …

My Husband Has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

Reader Fed Up With Husband writes, I recently discovered my husband has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). After 8 years of living with him, and having constant arguments over minor issues that he would blow out of proportion, enduring weeks of silent treatment, and out of the blue outbursts, I …

I Have Treatment Resistant Depression, Now What?

Reader Hopeless writes, In your articles you always advise people with depression to get help, either counseling or meds or both.  But what about people who have tried both and nothing works?  I have been in and out of therapy since I was 16 and now I am 43.  I …

When You’ve Never Been In Love With Your Spouse

Some people come into therapy with a secret.  Sometimes they bring it up themselves, and sometimes it comes out later in therapy.  The secret is that they have never felt truly “in love” with their spouse.  In our culture, romantic love is given a high priority, and is generally considered …

Why Your Kids Have Less Grit Than You

Some parents that I see in therapy are somewhat disappointed in their kids’ persistence, proactivity, and grit (here’s a good example of a reader who feels this way).  This can start as early as preschool, but can really come to a head during the child’s adolescence, when the parent feels …

When Your Parent Was Not A Healthy Role Model

Many people feel anxious and insecure about parenting because of their own upbringing.  While some lucky people are happy with the way that they were parented, others, raised in more dysfunctional families, are highly committed to raising their own kids very differently than they themselves were brought up.  This is …

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